Healthcare, the Bungles, and other notable Minutiae

I read a version of the healthcare reform bill. A short version, which still took me countless hours I will never get back. Upon completion, a few thoughts: I'm glad we have a former lawyer as President. I'm also glad I'm not a lawyer. Or a politician. The bill is highly boring, though it is ridiculously logical and far-sighted. I'm a teacher. I like George Orwell. I encourage my students to write clear and concisely. If they ever grow up and enter politics, they will not have benefited from having me as a teacher. I also think that there must be an incredibly high number of conservative Americans who would benefit from this legislation. These very same people are inexplicably trying not to have the bill passed. In other words, they are protesting a future law which would, in effect, save them money and possibly provide them with an essential service at a far cheaper rate than is currently offered, particularly the part with a government sponsored option. I worry about a country in which high numbers of individuals are actively working against their own self-interest. Those crazy conservatives who are listening to uber-rich people on the radio and on Fox News should decide to stop doing things that are against their interest. Also, these very same people look silly and sound uneducated when they call in and talk to Mike Rosen, who is himself an incredibly wealthy former corporate executive, and say things like this: "Get your government hands off my medicaid." Really, people? And anybody else that calls the democrats Nazis for wanting what we've all pretty much decided is a universal right, i.e. healthcare, should be sent to a mandatory history class, then a mandatory civics class, and then they should probably go talk to Holocaust survivors before promptly shutting the fuck up.

As for the Bungles:

A win is a win. And it was especially promising to see the defense put up a stout effort against a team with several gamebreakers. Palmer and Ochocinco may not be the superstars they were a few years ago, but they are still incredibly talented and can change a game on a single play. But it was the slow-footed, dimwitted Broncos who came up with the gamebreaker. That, my friends, is why you never give up on a play. Thank you Stokely, the forgotten Brandon, for affirming all the encouraging words of every Pop Warner and high school football coach. And thank you Champ Bailey for forcing one of the few Broncos’ interceptions I can remember in recent history.

Otherwise, there were several rather depressing elements to Sunday’s Broncos game.
The first was Kyle Orton’s shy pussycat imitation while hanging around the pocket and waiting for something to happen. Orton is a big, strong guy who must have some mobility stashed away somewhere. I thought the whole reason he ditched the beard was to become more aerodynamic, giving him the ability to slip out of the pocket and make things happen. On at least two or Orton’s three sacks, he could have slipped out of the pocket and made it back to the line of scrimmage or hit one of his returning receivers. But I guess all those years in Chicago behind a horrific offensive line have left him more of a deer in headlights than a Randall Cunningham Redux. But he didn’t throw any interceptions, or four, and had several dropped passes that would have changed drives. Say what you will but Orton tends to win games. Look for him to improve.

Second is the rather depressing fact that the Broncos never made it to the red-zone. Shanahan may have had red-zone troubles, but at least he was in the red-zone. McDaniels is going to have to figure out how to move his team, especially when the Broncos go up against offenses that can put up multiple scores and double-digit points.

Finally, what the hell happened to our vaunted running game? Let’s face it people: the running game is the only thing we’ve had since the retirement of the Horse-Toothed Republican. Without it, we really epitomize mediocre. The Broncos managed 227 passing yards, which is decent if not spectacular. But they only put up 75 rushing yards. How sad. Buckhalter averaged 5.8 yards on eight attempts, which prompts the question: why didn’t he get the ball more? A pass-first offense only works if your team can pass. And apparently the Broncos can’t do that yet. But we’ve always been able to run. . . . here’s hoping Bobby Turner gets a little more say in next week’s gameplan.

Up next – the Cleveland Browns, putting a new spin on craptacular every season.

Oh, and who says sports and politics don't mix?