MP's Broncos Update

Former NFL Commissioner Pete Rozelle convinced "all the league's owners to adopt revenue sharing, arguably the most successful form of socialism in U.S. history. The reason the NFL is so dominant is because the NFL is basically Marxist. This was Rozelle's greatest coup, and everybody knows it. But you'd never guess that from watching the NFL Network. Marxism is not a talking point." -Chuck Klosterman

Regarding McDaniels/Profanity-gate: I don't think the guy should have apologized for anything. He didn't say anything unreasonable in the circumstances; in fact he didn't say anything that I haven't said at my job (which is moderately comparable). I think he apologized because he is a caring parent, which is a good thing, but I hope he doesn't change his ways. I like his fieriness.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

In a quite unexpected twist of fate, my evil plan to bring down the Rocky Mountain News via the blogosphere has actually worked. I failed to realize the impact of my actions when I was forced to read about Jay Cutler's insolence and Josh McDaniels' sophomoric mismanagement in an august yet distant New York Times article. What do those fools know about the Broncos? the fans in Colorado? or the Rocky Mountains?

Josh McDaniels had the opportunity to take over the reigns of a proven offense. With a minor tweak here and a slight adjustment there, Jay Cutler and the rest would likely have had another exceptional offensive season in 2009. All McDaniels had to do was rework one of the most inept defensive units in NFL history, and he probably would have made the playoffs in his first year as head coach. That would have been the safe thing to do.

But no. McDaniels felt the need, as all first time coaches do, to install his own offense. He replaced one 400 page technical manual in language A with another equally bulky and technically obscure manual in language B. This was no big surprise. Everyone knew it was coming. It's status quo for a new coach in the NFL. Then he considered hiring someone who already knew language B to be his frontman for the Broncos. Matt Cassel would very obviously run McDaniels' offense with more ease than Jay Cutler - at least for a few games. And it's not like McDaniels was stupid to consider this. I think back to the 41-7 drubbing of the Broncos by the Patriots, and I can't help but think that maybe McDaniels knows something we all don't.

McDaniels' mistake was letting his thoughts get out into the public. Young, young fool. Bill Belichick would never commit so obvious a mistake. Hell, his own wife doesn't even know that he loves her. Josh McDaniels failed to employ the single most effective strategy that Bill Belichick uses on a regular basis - don't say a goddamn thing to anybody about anything. Have you seen Belichick's postgame conferences, or his pregame ones for that matter? He uses his dry monotone to tell more mistruths and misdirections than former White House Press Secretary Scott McLellan. I'm really baffled as to how McDaniels missed out on this tactic. If he would have followed the footsteps of his mentor, then we wouldn't have all this absurd drama right now.

And Cutler? There're two things you need to know about Cutler: he's 17-20 and he's never been to the playoffs. So basically he should shut up. That's it. Hey Jay, stop talking. Get your agent to stop talking too. Be happy you're not in Detroit, shut up, and start practicing with Jabbar Gaffney 'cause Brandon Marshall will be riding the pine for about 8 games. Case closed.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know...your post being in March, just a few weeks after the Super Bowl and all, really exemplifies how football is a year-round sport for many in this country. Even the off season manages to make it's way to the top headlines in news. Not child welfare, environmental discoveries, or even neighborly kindness...but yes, or yes...football almost always gets to the top of the hour. Well, I guess that gives us all hope in some way or another. Like you've said before, football is what brings us together in a world of hate. Now, if only those football guys could think of something good to do with their time off! Oh wait, I guess they are some of the most prominent volunteers of our community. Way to go! Maybe they could get on the news for that!

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I believe what we have here (Cutler vs. McDaniels) is what you would call "a pissing contest." Cutler is as cock-strong as they come, and McDaniels is clearly listening to the media too much. I almost cheered at your admonishment to "don't say a goddamn thing to anybody about anything." Maybe Jared Polis and Rush Limbaugh could take a note, too.

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had to look up the Jared Polis comment, and it left me wondering exactly what he was thinking when he made those remarks about the demise of the Rocky Mountain News. As a prominent local liberal politician, he really doesn't seem to get the value of autonomous newsmedia as part of the checks and balances on an already ethically bankrupt American consumer society. Here's hoping he gets it right next time.

10:38 AM  

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