Draft Chicanery

When I was a younger man my ideal weekend included finding free money and seeing boobies. In terms of the draft, the Broncos discovered a briefcase full of cash in the hands of a topless model. Draft weekend was, I think, ideal.

The two big moves were drafting Jay Cutler, QB wunderkind from Vanderbilt, and trading for Javon Walker, a pro bowl receiver for the Packers in 2004. If you believe the hype, Cutler is Elway's heir apparent, the young messianic QB the Broncos have been lacking. If you believe the hype and you're Jake Plummer, then Cutler is your eventual ticket out of town. If you believe the hype and you're Bradlee Van Pelt, then Cutler is. . . .well you get the picture. No matter how you see it, Cutler is the future at QB. He'll understudy the Plum in 2006, but in 2007 the job is his to lose. Plummer has one season to prove his worth by winning the Super Bowl and forcing the Broncos to keep him, or having a stellar mistake-free year in hopes another team will trade for his services.

The draft sucks for Plummer but it's awesome for the franchise. Plummer has a ton of athletic ability but can't hit the proverbial barn-door. Meanwhile Cutler looks like he could piss into a thimble from 10 feet away, on a sprained ankle, while being mauled by bears. Plus, he played at Vanderbilt where players are more likely to join MENSA than the NFL. Don't get me wrong, Plummer is a great guy. But don't you get the feeling that his IQ is in the high double digits rather than triple? And you need at least a three-digit IQ to run Shanahan's offense, even if you hand-off half the time. At least the Broncos are giving Plummer a fighting chance - they drafted two more receivers and a promising tight-end (I'm surprised Lelie didn't burn down Dove Valley over the weekend) . If just one of the offensive draftees can put up reliable numbers, Plummer and the Broncos have a great shot at the Super Bowl.

A healthy Javon Walker is the kind of receiver the Broncos have been looking for the last three years to compliment Rod Smith. In fact, if he comes close to his 2004 stats - 89 receptions, 1,382 yards, and 12 touchdowns - then he just might take be the kind of star receiver that adds a few extra years to Smith's hall-of-fame career. He's 27, just one year older than Ashley Lelie, and has already made one Pro Bowl. Lelie, of course, was supposed to be have been the speedy deep threat to compliment Rod Smith's possession ability. Lelie has failed to produce big numbers, and this draft shows that the Broncos are wary of his future potential. He's on his way out for sure, but I would love to see Smith, Walker, and Lelie line up together during 2006. Talk about the 3 Amigos.

Just when you think the Mastermind has gone Master-blind, he sneaks up behind you and bitch-slaps you upside the head.